Are you speaking the same language as your partner?

#communication #couple #NLP #lifecoach #relationship

Perhaps the greatest failure for us humans, are the patterns we use as couples. By which we communicate and transfer information to our partners.

Most cases, we tend to ignore how two people as close and caring for one another, can simultaneously be very different from one’s delivery of information, to how they internalize the information given.

That being said, how can we be inherently so different in the communication patterns we use?


Then let us try to understand the in’s and out’s of what we should do. For us to eliminate the many quarrels and misinterpretations which leads to what seems like a never ending conversational discord. This ideal may occur more often than you are able to grasp.

It is often overlooked, that not only do we speak with our words. Our tone represents 38% of our communication. While our body languages interprets up to 55%. That in term translates to only 7% of the words we use to one another. What an actualization, right?

We tend to lack the specificity of our communication, but use very precise terms which is a representation of what we are actually saying. These terms are visual, auditory and kinesthetic representations, or in other words, predicates. Which translates to which words and expressions we use on a daily basis.

Here is a scenario, if your partner is hearing what you say, although you show them what you are saying, your partner would definitely have a perplexed grasp of the concept of your words,.eg, delivery. Since they may not internalize the information the same, they may translate that into their own auditory language. Thus, leaving the discord.

Does that mean we’ve been communicating incorrectly all these years? Absolutely not!

My point here is, conveying to your partner that we should listen to more of the predicates and expressions we use, so that we are able to understand how our partner prefers to be addressed. We want a delivery they are able to internally recognize. That being said, the typical reaction of your efforts to communicate would sound like, “ YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING! ” However in this case, we work on the communication of a positive premise, rather than misunderstanding.

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